URGH. I mean really, urgh. I despise the little bastards. They are big and scary and horrible. Life on earth is ‘beautiful’? Seriously? Moths?
That is one ugly creature of evil. What the heck is going on with it’s head? Again: URGH. If I had to choose something to wipe out that wasn’t the human race, I think I’ve found it. Just, ew.
What I really hate, though, is the invasion of personal space. Why is my house full of moths?! They just won’t leave me alone. Every corner I turn, there is a whopping great moth in my face.
And make no mistake, they are always in your face. With the manic flapping of the wings and the manic thinking everything is the moon… Oh my gosh, it’s the moon! … No, Mr Moth, that would be my face.
Why do they like the moon so much anyway? It’s a giant chunk of rock in the sky. LET IT GO.
Moths are just butterflies with extra Satan. And I really hate butterflies.
And another thing: they eat clothes. I’m hardly fashionable, but I don’t want some little smegger eating my clothes. Imagine you had a signed t-shirt. Imagine it was signed by, I don’t know, Derren Brown. Now imagine an insect of evil and fluffy-antennae chewed away at the signature.
MOTHS ARE BAD.
Not to mention the sad truths of evolution…
That’s right, one day, we will be surrounded by ridiculously large moths with the ability to shoot lasers from their bulging eye-balls.
There’s just nothing good about moths. They’re furry in a bad way, like bees. They vibrate. That’s just wrong. They attack innocent faces. Bad. They attack innocent faces in the shower. Bad and wrong. They suck up rotting fruit through their tongue, which is a tube. Wrong.
Some people believe moths are lost souls eternally trying to find heaven. What the holy smeg? WRONG.
Some people believe moths mean bad luck, and for some reason, that they bring mean letters. A little bit weird, but still: BAD.
I heard a story once about a moth flying directly into someone’s ear and remaining there flapping it’s wings until said person saw a doctor about hearing noises, and was presented with a dead moth from inside of their ear. *cringe*. Bad and wrong and downright disgusting.
So last night, I’m sitting around in my room, nerding-out and a huge-ass mo-fo moth decides the place to be is in my bedroom. I freak. It goes for my face. I freak more. But the absolute final straw? It goes for my tv. And sits directly on the face of Link. That, my friend, is not cool.
Moths are servants of Ganondorf! What more do you want?! Go all extinction on their tiny little asses!
Sadly, my delicate and loving nature meant that squishing the bitch was out of the question. So, I grabbed a glass I had been drinking from and trapped it. While rewarding myself for my quick-thinking and trapping skills, however, the moth spazzed out, and managed to get it’s enormous and terrifying wings all stuck in left-over Dr Pepper.
I swear it did it on purpose. It died. I’m going to hell.